Contrary to popular belief, we often seek validation for the things we do:
-Am I with the right person?
-Am I employed with the right company; or better yet should I stay in this career?
-Should I have saved this money instead of buying a Louis bag?…well that’s a bad example because you probably should have.
If you ask me, everyone has the tendency to care about what either a certain SOMEONE or EVERYONE thinks about them. Let’s be real, I’m seeking a degree in a field that thrives on constant validation; so as much as I try to “Fake it til’ I make it”, I do it all the time! I’m no expert on how to overcome the urge to seek validation, but here are a few things I [try to] focus on every time I see myself turning back down the never-ending road to approval.
1. Trust Yourself.
Sometimes it’s just as simple as that. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t trust anyone at all…it just means you should trust yourself and your judgment more than you trust anyone else’s. Disclaimer: Naturally this doesn’t apply if you are doing something that will cause you harm; but you get the point.
2. Keep it up and you’ll damage your self-worth.
There is nothing more damaging to your self-worth, -image, and -confidence than seeking approval from others. At some point, you’re going to have to step out on a limb and know that what you’re doing is right and ok. (refer to Tip No. 1). Why seek validation from another human being who isn’t perfect either?
3. An opinion is just that….an OPINION.
Whether it’s warranted or not, an opinion is just the viewpoint of one individual. This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t consider the opinion, but never make someone’s opinion of you or your situation, stress or depress you. If your man doesn’t like your wig… ROCK IT ANYWAY SIS! It’s not like it’s on his head, right?
4. Stop stunting your own growth.
You can’t evolve into the person you want to be if you are constantly seeking validation from others. Reflect on why you are searching for this approval and STOP! To whom much is given, much is required. Practice making better decisions and trusting those decisions more. After it’s all said and done, it’s your life and no two experiences are the same. If you make the wrong choice, choose a better route and move on. To continue to grown, learn from your mistakes, and TRUST IN…YOU!
Most importantly, remember that validation is for PARKING. If it's not for free parking at a fancy restaurant or the movies...YOU DON'T NEED IT!