It hit me like a ton of bricks today..It's almost 2018..and I am still doing the same crap I "claimed" I wouldn't do anymore when we were approaching 2017. I don't know exactly how I arrived at this epiphany, but today I realized again that I have wasted majority of my twenties being the person I THOUGHT people wanted me to be. If this isn't something that you have personally dealt with, let me tell you....it is beyond exhausting.
I assumed that by being this person, I would have it all. Happiness, love, popularity, the whole nine yards. But instead of looking for it within, my "people pleasing" spirit has sent me on an unsuccessful search for love and happiness.
I'm in my prime..a 28-year old woman doing her freaking thang (yes thang) in graduate school! Yet, I can't help but feel like something is missing in my life because I'm either constantly comparing myself to others or trying to please others by being this person I think they want me to be. There comes a time when you no longer want to be the person who puts the importance of a outside relationships or appearances above your own sanity. Hopefully this time it'll stick.
"Allow me to re-introduce myself...
My name's Janae! OH! (J-to-the-anae!)" lol..
I'm a nerd...one of the biggest I know.
It took me awhile to admit it, but although I get lonely sometimes; I'm a bit of a loner..and I think I like it.
I'm a tomboy; oh but don't get it twisted when I tap into my feminine side, I slay.
I cry everytime I watch a corny Hallmark movie.
Music is my anti-drug.
& I don’t want to be or go out of my way to please anyone, but me.