According to Merriam-Webster, the term chivalry refers to "the system, spirit, or customs of medieval knighthood". Knights lived by a code that emphasized loyalty, bravery and courtesy to women through courtship. Ummmm but the last time I checked it was 2017 and no one sporting a suit of armor.
So is chivalry still alive and kicking? Or does it need resuscitation?
I learned everything I know about chivalry from television, the silver screen, books and of course from the wisdom imparted to me by my elders. In the early 20th century, men played the role of providing for and protecting his family. On the other hand, women were generally responsible for governing the home. In the 21st century, the original roles of men and women have been blurred. Women can do just about anything a man can do (something that was previously unheard of), including working and providing for the family. It seems that with the birth of each new generation [Baby Boomers (our grandparents), Generation X (our parents), Millenials or Generation Y (anyone born between the late 80s to early 90s), Post-Millenials or Generation Z (anyone born anytime since the 90s)] chivalry continues to become more and more watered down.
For millennials and post-millenials, courtship has changed quite a bit. It's been trivialized by social media and dating sites. For the most part, it's pretty impersonal now:
It goes down in the DM... When was the last time you saw people just walk up to each other, respectfully introduce themselves and schedule a date. It's just not something you see that often anymore. What has become the norm is people sliding in your DMs trying to get at you.
The dating GAME... When we finally get the attention of someone we like, we play games (I'm guilty of this too). For example: Ladies, has a guy ever texted you and you wait a few hours or maybe even a day or so to respond back so you don't seem too eager? GAMES! Guys, have you ever walked up to a someone you like and given her your number instead of being bold enough to ask for hers? GAMES!! Why can't we just be upfront with each other anymore??
Women chase men... Chasing a man is just something that I don't think a woman should do no matter what year it is. Enough said.
_____Meet.com... You can find a dating website for just about any demographic; many of the sites have been categorized by profession, race, and even religion!! What people fail to realize is that dating profiles are often full of nothing but lies. How do you think the term catfish came about?! Be careful!
Although the roles of women drastically changed, the core principles of chivalry didn't have to. What happened to the days when courting was a REQUIREMENT?? Whatever happened to the days when a guy asked a girl to "go steady"? Do men just not know how to adjust to the more liberal woman? Or is chivalry just dead?
While I am independent, like most women are these days, it's still nice to be courted. So, how can men be chivalrous to the 21st century woman?
1. Wine and dine us! The popular "Netflix and chill" is nice, but from time to time, SWITCH IT UP.
2. Open the door. Even though we are completely capable of doing it ourselves, its still sweet.
3. Allow us to treat you when we offer. It doesn't make you less of a man.
4. While walking, make it a point to walk on the side of the sidewalk closest to traffic (while not required, it makes us feel
Ladies we're not off the hook:
1. When you are wined and dined, offer to pay for the tip.
2. When he opens the car door for you, reach over and open his side for him too.
3. Don't be afraid to initiate a date....and PAY! It's a nice gesture to offer to pay and allow your date to decide if he would
like to accept.
4. Be realistic. It's not 1950 so don't expect to be courted like the 1950s woman.
So, do I think chivalry is dead? No. I just think it's lost it's way. Let's help it find it's way back!