For the past few days, I've been reading a new book called You Are a Bad***: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life by Jen Sincero (yes I'm a bookworm). Anyway, as you can tell from the title, this book is about doing everything Tha Girl Upstairs is geared towards; being secure in yourself, letting go of debilitating fear, and believing that you are capable of the presumably impossible.
For years, I have struggled with all three. However, the most troublesome of the 3 has been learning to throw caution to the wind and believe in myself. One of the questions I keep revisiting while reading this book is, "Why not me?" Why do I find myself incapable of things I haven't even tried. Why am I so convinced that everyone doing similar things has it in the bag?! I can do anything anyone else can do, better; and so can you!!
Since the day I was reprimanded in 3rd grade for dressing a friend's busted knee on the playground, I just knew I was going to be a Doctor. I would strut around in my white coat curing patients by day and living a luxurious life by night; it was all planned out...in my head. I watched ER shows on the Discovery channel (the more gory, the better!) and listened attentively in all of my science classes. Finally, I made it to college, majored in Biology..earned "good" grades but never really prepared for the medical school entrance exam along the way. Obviously I thought I was just going to somehow finesse my way into medical school; needless to say I was completely wrong. During my senior year, I finally realized that I was not ready for medical school; and unfortunately a Bachelors degree in Biology can get you virtually nowhere. So I did the only thing I felt I could. I panicked! This was the year I stopped believing in myself and started comparing my lack of direction to the people around me who I assumed to be so much further ahead in life.
Had I stayed in my funk, I would have never found what I think is my true calling; teaching. Throughout undergrad and graduate school, I was so focused on becoming a medical doctor, that I made little room for a backup plan. For ages, so many people were trying to uncover the gift I had for teaching, but of course I fought them off at every turn. I say all of this to say, I have taken every twist and turn possible and finally ended up where I never knew I wanted to be. Although, I'm still far from achieving some of my dreams, I now realize the power in believing in myself.
Marinate on this..
What's stopping you?
Other than your sense of impending doom, what is stopping you from achieving your dreams? Is it money? Maybe. Is it because you're lazy? Quite possibly; but in my opinion, there is no such thing as a lazy dreamer, so I doubt that's the problem. Is it because you're scared? JACKPOT!! Yes, you're scared. But why?? So many people have failed time and time again before they achieved success. You may fail a few times..or you may have immediate success, but you'll never know until you try. Just as Oprah Winfrey once said, "Where there is no struggle, there is no strength." What is meant for you will be yours, just depends on if you're ready to go get it or not. Stay ready.
So your life can't get any better?
Ask yourself one question: "Self, are you honestly satisfied with your current situation?" If you're anything like me, then the answer is "NO!" When I have a goal, I'm consciously and subconsciously unsatisfied until I either make steps toward what I desire to do, or until I have actually done it and succeeded. If you want to continue to feel stuck, by all means stay in the rut you're in. But if you want to live the life you deserve, and accomplish all of your goals, then buck up and start believing!!
If you don't believe, who will? Learn to motivate yourself!!! There is nothing more rewarding than proving to YOURSELF that you are capable..you are worthy..and you are a believer! You can't expect others to believe in something you don't believe in. Don't work backwards. Believe in yourself first...make others believe in you later.
Effortless or not; your journey is not comparable.
The more I compared my successes or lack thereof to the people around me, the more my self-belief [among other things] diminished. The path to success is not necessarily a straight one. Don't envy those who "appear" to have it easier or more together than you do. No matter how many curves, dips, or roadblocks along the way, just remember your time is coming. Keep pushing, keep striving and again, KEEP BELIEVING!!
I believe in me. What do you believe in?