It was the perfect summer evening on the beach; amid the sounds of the rolling tide and laughter from nearby beach-goers all I could think about was how incredibly blessed I was. Mr. Right and I were happier than ever! However, despite the fairytale I was beginning to wonder when we would take our relationship to the next level. As we strolled along the shore, I realized that something was offbeat. Mr. Right seemed to be lost in thought and was clearly nervous about something; but what? Suddenly from a distance I saw a familiar face; my mother. To my surprise, all of my immediate family members and friends were running full speed toward me! What was going on?! Turning to Mr. Right for clarity, I gasped. There he was on one knee in the wet sand, gazing lovingly at me holding a box which contained the ring of my dreams. Oh my gosh, he was proposing! "Janae will you—" He didn't even ask the entire question before I accepted. Needless to say, we lived happily ever after in marital bliss...
Fabulous love story huh? I thought so too when I made it up. Hi, my name is Janae and I'm a hopeless romantic. Over time, I have grown increasingly in love, with love; fantasizing about being swept off my feet, experiencing a tear-jerking proposal and living peacefully with my husband, our children, and family dog in a beautiful home surrounded by green grass and a white picket fence. I've unsuccessfully tried to figure out why everyone around me is "happily" in a relationship and why it seems so impossible for me to trade my single card and upgrade to a relationship. One day I finally realized that while falling in love with the endless possibilities of love, I was simultaneously falling out of love with myself.
Now obviously, I'm no expert. However, as I approach my 28th year I think it's finally time to explore the power of beauty. I know I'm a beautiful woman but lately I've only been able to see my flaws. For the past few years, I've claimed to be ready to start loving myself again but each time, I've run into two problems:
1. I have not been fully committed to the journey.
2. I was unsure of how to even begin the journey to loving myself unconditionally.
Now that I am finally writing my plans, I will have the opportunity to really think about what I'm doing. It's time to forge my own path to self-love.
Stay tuned for 'Part Two' of my journey to self-love..